I am a Heartless Biatch

This ain't a good year for most of us (based on my assumption). Violence seem to be everywhere and everything ain't going right. One of my friend just turned gay....

Still shocked

Yawnz... such a good weather and stuck in office. It is freaking cold and ... well let's just say it is a good day to hibernate.

After 9 months.. I am still clueless. I almost ... wanted to stick to this line til quite some time... but it seems like this job is getting on my nerves. Everything has to be recorded and plan in advance. I mean.. come on... I hate to record and plan. Yes.. I might be skiving at times... but .. nah.. not going to argue on this point. But seriously... I don't know what I want.... I tried applying for jobs that I want... but never once did I get it.. Sigh... must be my bad karma or simply I am lousy!

Yesterday..... well... talk to a friend.. and... well... just cried. The topic is none other than my singlehood. Why am I single.. Besides the point of SFUWA (Short Fat Ugly with Attitude), there is always this problem or issue in me that I never spelt out. None other than.... the stupid 'A' fellow. I cannot seem to move on since dunno how many years ago. I compare every guy with him. It doesn't seem fair but I cannot help it. After the conversation... I went digging out all the stuff... found a log (our conversation).. I just burst out crying while reading it. It just brings back everything...

I don't know what I am doing... what I want... and... what I have...

I have been in this company for around 8 months and I only finished orientation yesterday. Seriously... working in here .. well how should I say.. good prospect? However I do see any future here. I do not see where I am going.. I do not see any prospect. I don't even know why I am here.

Yesterday bro's friend came over. He talks about here and blah blah.. but I am still lost as ever. Seriously... I don't smell anything close to good future..

Does working means doing something you don't like or what does it mean?

I have a new addiction! Nah... not drugs... but photography! I am glued to deviantart.com!!!! Been visiting this site almost everyday and to sum it all... IT IS MARVELLOUS!!!! Some of the photographs taken are beyond words! At least now I have something to keep me occupied! I guess it will cause less abrasion since I am glued to webby and cannot be bothered talking to anyone. Hmmm... must start saving for a digital SLR camera

Well.... had an job interview a few days back... *praying hard* Really want a change of job!!!