Friday, June 24, 2005
The blind wants to see, I want to be blind
Most blind hopes to regain their sight, me.. an able-bodied wishes to be blind. I do not wish to see the cruelty of man, the ugly side of everything. I have lived for 24 years, not exactly of being old and not being young, but I am extremely tired. Tired, sick and pissed off.
I seem to have lost the ability to even write everything or even say anything now..
Sorrow and Anger is resting side by side with me.
I seem to have lost the ability to even write everything or even say anything now..
Sorrow and Anger is resting side by side with me.
Friday, June 17, 2005
Down on Luck
It has been long since I updated on my blog. Probably I have been finding many excuses not penning my thoughts down. I have always been able to express my feelings freely but recently the invasion of privacy has sortta taken my ability to do what I want. Anyway, I am writing things down because I have no way to vent my frustration in life. Everything seems to be heading the wrong way. I cannot seem to find the right path of life.
Recent events has led me to think about my life again. I found a job that I like but the pay sucks big time. I am still job hunting... however I am still finding a job that I like and that pays. At the same thing, my mind is all about getting a degree. SMU has rejected my application which has led me to depression. At times I feel that I am not cut out to studying, but I really do not want just to stop at a diploma. I want a degree just to prove someone wrong and that I do not want a pay only restricted for diploma holders.
One of my good friend is caught in a dilemma. Being bugged by... 2 pyscho. Infact is 4 pyscho. He is simply a magnet for pyscho. He is my god! I have to bow to him at times. Anyway, recent events has led me to looking into people into a deeper level and that human should not test the limit of god. I mean things can come out in the most unexpected moments. Be it love, friends or family. Things just happen.
My mp3 player has been causing me nothing but trouble. Suppose to use it as a backup storage. Instead all the data could go in and not come out. What the fuck? Creative Zen touch... real disappointment. Imagine the amount I paid for it and the service I get. Oh yah, I forgot to mention. They actually do not escalate the matter to higher authority. When I first brought it to service, a girl who handled my mp3player... does not know how a Zen touch actually works. Guess what... she was the one who is suppose to repair it. God... I only realised that today and that she has actually deleted almost everything in the mp3 player. Huge disappointment. To think, I wanted to get a sound system from them.
Lastly... I thought it would be easy, but I do miss europe and of course him. It is much tougher than I thought it would be. Sometimes I dreamt I would wake up beside him but I am back. I am not sure when we would ever meet again.
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Recent events has led me to think about my life again. I found a job that I like but the pay sucks big time. I am still job hunting... however I am still finding a job that I like and that pays. At the same thing, my mind is all about getting a degree. SMU has rejected my application which has led me to depression. At times I feel that I am not cut out to studying, but I really do not want just to stop at a diploma. I want a degree just to prove someone wrong and that I do not want a pay only restricted for diploma holders.
One of my good friend is caught in a dilemma. Being bugged by... 2 pyscho. Infact is 4 pyscho. He is simply a magnet for pyscho. He is my god! I have to bow to him at times. Anyway, recent events has led me to looking into people into a deeper level and that human should not test the limit of god. I mean things can come out in the most unexpected moments. Be it love, friends or family. Things just happen.
My mp3 player has been causing me nothing but trouble. Suppose to use it as a backup storage. Instead all the data could go in and not come out. What the fuck? Creative Zen touch... real disappointment. Imagine the amount I paid for it and the service I get. Oh yah, I forgot to mention. They actually do not escalate the matter to higher authority. When I first brought it to service, a girl who handled my mp3player... does not know how a Zen touch actually works. Guess what... she was the one who is suppose to repair it. God... I only realised that today and that she has actually deleted almost everything in the mp3 player. Huge disappointment. To think, I wanted to get a sound system from them.
Lastly... I thought it would be easy, but I do miss europe and of course him. It is much tougher than I thought it would be. Sometimes I dreamt I would wake up beside him but I am back. I am not sure when we would ever meet again.