I am a Heartless Biatch

Although I said many times I didn't mind or care about what happens to me and him. But I think I am just in denial. I care a lot. It takes me 5 years or more to get into a relationship, but it didn't turn out what I thought it would be. It is really weird... I know that I don't really love him as much as I do for ash... but yet emotions act strongly. A lot of my friends are asking me to let go.. just that I really don't know how to. I know he is making use of me but still sometimes I wish this ain't true.

I longed to be loved.. to run to someone when I am upset. Just like what I did with ash... but the reality... sucks. I didn't run to him and the fact... I am always crying alone. It hurts... I mean... I need a bf not just for display but someone who can share everything with me... now... I just feel alone...


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