Friday, March 11, 2005
Nightmare
Oh boy... 5th day of finance and it is DRIVING ME WORSE. God... you will never imagine what life is like. Have not been sleeping well due to Pinky. God.. now I know how stress you guys (NYP) can be. Pinky has been rushing her projects day and night and I have been seeing her sleep like 4 or 6 am and waking up at 7 or 8am. Hopefully to lighten her load, I offer my help. In the end, I am being affected by it. Lack of sleep and loss of concentration. To make matter worse, last night... I had a continuation of 3 nightmares. All some psychotic dreams, 2 of them, I was on the verge of being killed. I remembered one of them vividly. My family were running around to prevent ourselves from being hunted down. It was really horrifying. 3 times that I woke up, I wished I was back home with my eeyor to hug or just go to my huge living room just to daze.
Finance is really really tough. The lecturer is talking now.. and I simply catch no balls. Am I really that dumb? Thought that Business Finance is hard.... International Finance is worse. It is a mix of economics, international trade, forex, and business finance. AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! It is driving me nuts.
Sadly to say, I ask help from some locals for my work. None seems to be willing to do so. Probably it is really time for me to reflect myself. I mean.... I have no clue or whatsoever. I mean mixing around in Singapore is so less complicated.. dislike each other... but when it comes to work... it is still being done and shared. Gosh
Something big happen this week. Being backstabbed. It seems like I am getting this piece of shit everywhere. A bitch borrowed money from me and turn around telling people I borrowed from her when I tried to get back. BITCH. She actually did it to the 3 of us. I mean.. the other girls are nicer. They are willing to forgive her despite her actions. For me.. it is really difficult. I am not a forgiving person. (the only exception was after almost 8 years).
I notice a difference in the people I frequently talk. Probably it is due to stress. I feel the hurt in words there. I mean.. yes.. I am in a foreign country... and yes I do miss a lot of things there. I mean I will always consistently joking about missing the food and stuff there, but the real fact... I never ask those stuff to be here. I am not out to ka my friends, although it is always on my mouth. I mean you guys know me... will I actually do that? Have I ever done that in real life? I mean when you guys judge me, I feel the hurt.
Sad week for me.
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Finance is really really tough. The lecturer is talking now.. and I simply catch no balls. Am I really that dumb? Thought that Business Finance is hard.... International Finance is worse. It is a mix of economics, international trade, forex, and business finance. AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! It is driving me nuts.
Sadly to say, I ask help from some locals for my work. None seems to be willing to do so. Probably it is really time for me to reflect myself. I mean.... I have no clue or whatsoever. I mean mixing around in Singapore is so less complicated.. dislike each other... but when it comes to work... it is still being done and shared. Gosh
Something big happen this week. Being backstabbed. It seems like I am getting this piece of shit everywhere. A bitch borrowed money from me and turn around telling people I borrowed from her when I tried to get back. BITCH. She actually did it to the 3 of us. I mean.. the other girls are nicer. They are willing to forgive her despite her actions. For me.. it is really difficult. I am not a forgiving person. (the only exception was after almost 8 years).
I notice a difference in the people I frequently talk. Probably it is due to stress. I feel the hurt in words there. I mean.. yes.. I am in a foreign country... and yes I do miss a lot of things there. I mean I will always consistently joking about missing the food and stuff there, but the real fact... I never ask those stuff to be here. I am not out to ka my friends, although it is always on my mouth. I mean you guys know me... will I actually do that? Have I ever done that in real life? I mean when you guys judge me, I feel the hurt.
Sad week for me.
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