I am a Heartless Biatch

Went to the Comex 2004. Totally Packed are the words to describe the fair. I was totally buried in the crowd. Was reluctant to go at first but my mum insisted that I have to go... Was in for a total shock when I was in there. VERY EXTREMELY PACKED!!!

Saw a lot of new digital cameras and were practically drooling at them... Found a camera that I really really like... Olympus mju 410.. costing $699!!! Sigh... Well... guess I got to really saved up for it.. My parents were actually searching for a 3-in-1 printer. Dad needed it for work, so ended looking one epson printer. God.. the price of printer these days are dirt cheap... I used to remember printer costing to $500+... now... for just less than $200, you can actually purchase quite a fantastic printer. In the end, dad settled for one with just $238. Can you believe it?

Strangely, dad wanted to buy for me an mp3 player. Was shocked because of recent issues. Found out that mum told him off. Was quite happy about it. Was looking at sony, ipod and creative products. Was actually looking at the new md walkman by Sony.. In for a disappointment. The personnel told me that the new md disc are not in Singapore.. then why should I purchase it. Went to iPod. Greater disappointment!!! Totally sold out! I mean since they are having an exhibition... they should be mentally prepared to have more stocks. Worse is that the sales personnel was quite rude. It adds up to the factor now that I am utterly disappointed with mac. Was a huge fan especially that i love the designs of each products but the personnels at the exhibitions were just too rude! Come on!! If I am asking for that product, it means I have the fucking $$ to buy it... so why the attitude!!! Sigh.... In the end.. bought a creative zen touch. It was not my first choice but still at least THEY HAVE STOCK AND the staffs were VERY POLITE!!!!

However.... when I started recording this new love of mine... the songs are jumpy and the fact is.. there were many screeching sounds from the recording.. Can't be my computer rite? Am going down to the dealer later on to find out more of it... Hopefully I won't get disappointment.

Happy to get a new love (my Creative Zen Touch) but yet frustrated at the outcome as it is not working that well for me... Oh well see how it goes!

Saw this in someone's blog and I decided to do it myself. Heehee

35 Things (that you might never know/never wanna know) About Me
1. I am very blur but most of the time... I hide it real well
2. I am actually a person who do not like to talk
3. Brain over heart? More likely to be Heart over Brain.. but reality grips me back
4. Love being pampered like a princess
5. Love being kiss and hug, but there isn't anyone yet
6. Afraid of being touched.. cos it tickles?
7. Seldom comb my hair
8. Huge crush on weirdo guys
9. Does not always focus when people are talking
10. Remembers small details of people but cannot remember big things they do for me
11. Likes to day dream
12. Pretend to ignore about my figure but deep down... WHY CAN'T I SLIM DOWN
13. Has a eating disorder but simply ignores it
14. Hates mummy boys
15. Love to drink, smoke and sing but cannot afford such lifestyle everyday
16. Cuts and Dye my hair whenever frustrated
17. Filled with rage, revenge and hate, but try to chuck it aside
18. Am a perfect Actress
19. Loves Hello Kitty
20. Dreams of living alone but yet afraid of cockroaches and other insects
21. Can be quite a spendthrift
22. Hate it when people jumps to conclusion or prejudge me
23. Damn pessimistic
24. Can be a real bitch when PMS
25. Loves arts but know that living with arts cannot earn much
26. Dream of being a boss
27. Cries easily in the room but not outside
28. Forgiveness is not my forte
29. Man stuck in a woman's body
30. Love skirt & dress, but don't know how to react when wearing it and afraid of being laughed
31. LOVES PRATA AND CARROT CAKE
32. Had dreams of being a rich tai tai when I was young
33. Have crushes on guys now and then
34. LOVE Strawberries but hate pink.
35. My brother and my aunt, the best people around for me!!!

Yawnz... will keep posted soon.

I am one of the stupid arse around. I never seem to stop quarrelling with people... I know my temper is really foul but I just can't be bothered to change it.. At times I blame myself for the things that I did... However... If I change... will the situation change? I seriously lost in this confusion of changing... Can't people accept who I am?

I do not know much about others.. but me... when a misunderstanding occurs.. I cannot be bothered to alter or amend it. To me... if a misunderstanding relates me.. it means that the person do not know me well enough. Sometimes I also find that leaving it as it is... will create fewer problems.. but it ain't so... It seems like things just get worse... I hate to actually resolve the misunderstanding... as once you are the accused.. no matter how you explain.. people already have the impression that you are guilty.

Sometimes I really wish to scream out loud to tell my stuff and to those who look things only on the surface... But I just can't do it... Perhaps I am the type who just don't like to talk and clear things up... Ever since certain things happen... I just bottle up...

Did a stupid thing today... Scrape my hands with words using a sharp pen... WHAT AM I DOING!!!

Seriously, things can turn really different. At times, you expected this, and in the end, you get a different ending... I always thought... those who are always unconcern about me... turn out to show the most concern... Previously, I was talking about this gal who doesn't know much of and keep jumping conclusion... In the end... she was more willing to help me than the others. The others are just too preoccupied with their relationships...

Does having a car means more friends? I was talking about this issue to Pinky today.. I really pity el.. He seems to be popular and has more friends because he is rich and has a car... Fuck... I mean.. Friends are Friends... Who give a god damn about the car! So what if he doesn't have a car.. I will still treat him the same. The 2 people who is trying to get closer to him simply sucks. I mean just because of his money and car? Poor el.. Hopefully he can see through them soon.

J is driving on my nerves. I didn't notice much of that till Pinky's sudden irritation. Actually... she already dislike J so much. On the contrary... I thought they were close.. Guess I must have overlooked it.... J is really so out to win.. Pool session was meant to be relaxing and it is only just a game.. Saw her real side of her today... Hopefully I don't start to dislike J soon...

I share a special relationship with Jas.. Don't really know why.. Definitely not love but is more than friends. The feeling is very special... like real brother and sister. I have never dotted on someone that close except for my mei.. who is also another special case. I always thought that this kind of relationship only happens in the movies or to siblings. Never knew that it can exist in my life.. Anyway... really felt like hugging him today after he told me out many things. Too bad everything was done via the phone.. Knew he was damn damn damn sad and could sortta hear a bit of sobbing.. Sigh.... Gonna hug me tommorrow.. Hee Hee

Hate is what covers me these days.... Ain't gonna elaborate on it as I swore never to shed another tear anymore

I always have a fear... that if it happens to me... I might just kill myself or kill that fellow... It seems to be drawing nearer and nearer... This is really how much I can take it... He smashed my MD and is getting more and more unreasonable.. I don't know when I will really explode..

To get loads off my mind... I have been playing hide and seek and creating my art work for my friends. It ain't anything too great about... But at least it is getting things off my mind for a while.

He didn't talk to me at all.... Really wanted to tell him what is going on in my life... Guess things ain't the same anymore..