I am a Heartless Biatch

Dying. Went to Malaysia this weekend. Really wanted to relax but instead... :~ Guess what happen. I went there for physiotherapy instead. Bad news. My lower spine is slanted, BADLY. That explains all the muscle spam coming from my right leg and nerves being badly affected. So how did I ended in such a situation.. I have no idea. My aunt (physiotherapist) was really good in her job. She could actually detect where I was hurt and what went wrong with just her two hands. Sigh.. She told me to abstain from exercising (no gym for me till I fully recover) and change my position in sleeping. She also told me to go there for 2 weeks of therapy.. but my job and my school... I wonder if I got such time. Sigh......

It just pop up in my mind.. Should I become what my aunt is? Don't really know, but she inspires me of being one now... Maybe cos she is really very good in treating patients. Just a thought though.

Still need another trip to escape reality. This trip ain't that great yet. And I found out I am just a cleaniness freak. Just couldn't stand anymore of all those.. AHHHH. Don't wanna imagine it again.

Anyone miss me? Hee hee. Has been really a long time since I last updated my webby. Really wanted to change the graphic behind, but just couldn't find the time to even touch the computer. Let me tell you the routine, everyday wake up at 630am, bathe, reach school at 830 and start working. Posted to a business research center... basically research and more research. Not only that, I have to face the computer. After 5, go to starhub and work. Reach home.. ard 11+? Do you think I have the mood to actually face the computer? Really miss the time slacking and chatting with friends. Must really do some catching up with you guys soon. NELLY!! Miss gossiping with you :(

Don't really know if I can stand working that long. Wanted to continue for the sake of money. No matter what, must continue cos I owe someone a huge favour. Must work till Dec. Til then.. WORK!!!

The feeling of not going to work can be really very very great. So soothing. Miss that man. Well, gave work a miss because of... JOSEPH SEE. His birthday is actually tommorrow, but since he wanted it today, then just celebrated with him. Treated him sakae buffet. *Broke*

Actually today can such a wonderful day if I never get to pick up a call. I am really pissed. Till now, cannot get over that my school advisor sucks. Shouldn't actually blown my top on one of them, just couldn't keep my cool whenever I think back what had happened. Maybe I am a bit too demanding.. but I still feel that, since I am doing P&P (Publication + Promotion), then it should me who decides of how to promote. An advisor should be advising and not RESTRICTING. Just bloody cannot stand the fucking asshole. Hope he kanna retrench and I will be the first to laugh.

Today has not been a good day for some of my classmates. Heard some didn't pass. Hopefully now the school will let them complete their course in 3 years. *Wanted to console them, just that I am bad in words*

GUYS!!! Check this out. See this teacher lose it. Ahahahah, had a laugh out of it. RJC... ahahahhaa. Never expected it to be captured. Hey, whoever taped that, thanks ah!

Suppose to work today, in the end, didn't went. My dad decided to go out for a dinner together. Could give dinner a miss, but it has been very long since I joined them for dinner. Decided to be a good girl and not go to work. Besides no motivation inside there. Sigh....

Friend called up. Ask me to go sentosa to sun tan tommorrow. Been long since I last sun tan.. but then... fat arse like me? tan? ermmm.. besides a sissy is tagging along there and that sissy is forever pissing me off. Rejected his nice offer. Must buy suntan lotion... need to go downstairs and soak for a whole day.. maybe this coming thursday. Oh talking abt that sissy... I have not seen anyone as worse as him. Oh my god... it is horrifying. The worst is when he starts acting princess and then when he eats a cake. OH MY GOD!!!! I wish ash was there man. He will sure wallop that fucking faggot. EEEEEEEEE. Just simply cannot stand him so sissy.

Someone asked me about my huge appetite. What had trigger it. As a matter of fact, I don't really know. Just simply, since Sunday, I have a massive hunger? Think I better stop eating that much. Or else I will never ever be able to fit into my favourite skirt again. *MUST CUT DOWN*

Was sulky at the start of the day. The non-stop ding dong ding dong keeps on rattling in my mind. Less than 5 mins, I will hear it. I am not hallucinating. My work place. If you want to enter, must press the bell. And know what, I happen to sit near to the entrance, so if the nearest guy does not open the door for people, it has to be me. *DING DONG DING DONG*

Had a huge appetite today. Don't know why. Simply just can't fill up my stomach. Start by morning breakfast: carrot cake, lunch: Chicken whopper, fries, and a strawberry cheese cake, dinner: century porridge and a plate of char siew, after a while, ice-cream. OH MY GOD. What has happened to me? Actually, this is not the worst. My record, one huge large pizza, and less than 2 hours, another meal. Sigh... must be eating disorder. Didn't eat much when "auntie" visited. Must be replenishing what I have missed out. :P

PAY DAY PAY DAY. Still got 18 days more. DING DONG DING DONG

Definately not my day today. Started bad and ending off bad. Went to school, guess what, Realised actually I have been a dumb arse for my past year in school. Thought joining the Student Union can have a change in this fucked up school. It was too naive of me. Realised that our Union Advisor just is a piece of old fart. He keep insisting that Union has a lot of money, why save? Then for fuck he is cutting our cost in the necessity. Basically, this motherfucker wants us to listen to him. Since he is so capable, what for have a Union and let us plan. Must as well he do the everything and we just be the plain arsehole who simply follow orders. Maybe I should start questioning the school about how they manage our school fees. NYP simply sucks to the core. Waste money on unnecessity and the best is using our school fees. Fucked up school. Those whoever are reading, please don't come into our school. Basically you will regret. Also don't join Union, I am strictly advising that. Yes, you will pleasure having organising things and working with certain people, but with that motherfucker around, you will not hold any pride in it. Infact I would say, it is my disgrace being in.

Quarrels, quarrels, quarrels. When will it ever stop? I really need a break.

Feverish since yesterday. Measured at 37.6. Ahhhh~!! Heavy head and sulky mood. Wish I could just chop off my head and the burden will be gone. Received a call today. Guess what, I am in for TEP~!!! AH~!!!!! So sickening. Working in school for free labour!!!! You will what is the best part, I still have to pay school fees and the school, make me work for free labour. PEOPLE, PLEASE DO NOT GO TO NYP. SUXZ!!!!

Had a problem at work today. Told customer the wrong thing and had to settle it. Didn't know how to say sorry, in the end my friend managed to settle it for him. Not that I don't wish to apologize, I just didn't know how to. He was a nice customer as well. Felt really bad saying wrong stuff. Nevertheless, hope he won't hold a grudge on me. Sigh... Not my day.

Anymore else to say? Yah, DI!!! please indicate ur name. And YES, I don't deny that I still like ash. -End of Story-

Found myself getting more and more restless. Not only that more moody and bad-tempered. Think I am going mad.

Started visiting the chat channels and found myself actually starting to talk. Maybe you guys don't know, I don't really enjoy talking to strangers. Most of the time, I must see my mood. I can be really a weirdo. Anyway, he ask me quite a good question. Am I looking for friends or soulmate? To me, I can never answer that question. I define friends as someone I can run to when I am sad and someone I can share anything under the sky.. and so far, sadly to say, none around me matches that. Therefore I told him I had no friends. He said that I ain't looking for friends, but soulmates. Can anyone justify this query?

Miss him more and more. Don't really know why. It seems that everyday is getting worse and I beginning to lose myself. Tried burying myself with work and school. Doesn't really did much help. Actually, he is always online. Just that my pride stop me from being friends with him. To me, pride is very important and he actually tore my pride down. I still cannot forgive him for that. *Really have a rush to cry*

Dead

Was having migraine and menses cramp at the same time. TERRIBLE~!!! Could barely do anything today. Pretty much lying on the bed. Didn't went for the meeting in School as well. Guess most of them will be pretty mad or probably ended thinking that I am irresponsible.

The time now is 3.00 am, should be considered Sunday. Actually should be sleeping, however feeling kinda depressed right now. Finished watching my Sassy Girl. Quite a nice show but not touching enough to make me cry. But one part of the show made me recalled the past. It has almost been let's say... almost 7 months, and so far, I have not forgotten about him. I was about to go to bed when memories just flowed back. The day when I was sad, he came all the way to actually accompany me, the day when he first held my hand... all these.. I really don't know how to forget as it seems like it was just yesterday. I have never like a guy so much in my life. You know something funny, he said he didn't want to be the guy who will hurt me. Let me just say, ASH, You have already did it! I don't know what went wrong but THANKS ANYWAY!!!!!

I really feel like running away. I miss the days where I just cast everything aside and just travel to another country. Maybe the next coming holidays, Hong Kong? Australia? Bali? Taiwan? US? or California? I should start saving up soon.

Someone PLEASE RETRIEVE my soul!

Ahhhhhh~!!! Friday the 13. How great can that be? Anyway, had my hair dyed but you know what. IT TURNED OUT RED!!!! It was supposed to be purple~!!! Another mishap.. sigh... when can I get my purple hair??!?!! By the way, guys, I have long hair. (For those who don't, I hate long hair). I cannot believe I managed to survive through this. Just because of a bet and not wanting to lose it, I didn't cut my hair since Chinese New Year. And the best part is another friend of mine has decided to join in the bet and now.. the bet has increased to 2 people!! MISERY~!!!! *luckily these days the weather has changed for better*

Had been a hubber for.. 19 days? I cannot believe that I actually make it that far. But well, as I said, as long as it pays, I will do it. Sigh.. it is really very pathetic when you are lack of vitamin M. No choice, must try to strive harder. Really need those additional M especially school is reopening and that damn school is going to collect debt from me. Ahhhh~!! Another $1000 is going to be missing soon.

Actually pretty sad, next year as in the coming July, my class will be separated as the damn school might just do that. Although our class may be separated into groups, we can still get along. It is such a pity that all of us must just be dispersed into places. Hopefully that damn school has decided to change its mind and let be in the same class for the following 2 years. Guys, will be praying for you especially if you did not make it through yet.

Has been considering things. Should I take up a scholarship?

*PIEW* Finally can relax a bit. My results were out. Had been worrying about it. I passed all. Hee hee. But then I still think it is a stroke of luck. Econs and Marketing, just managed to scrape it through. Really very lucky. I can finally dye my hair purple!!!! But then, still need to find capital to get my hair done. Purple purple, here I come!

Had been a hubber for few days. Did not get any sales though... but so far ok lah. The working environment is not as bad as it is. Hey, if you want to subscribe to MaxTV or MaxOnline (Starhub), give me a mail or call leh. Hiaks.

Oh yah, saw my ex Secondary classmate. Was horribly shocked. She had 2 kids already. And one of them is around 3-4 years old. I mean I kinda expected that you know... but never thought that fast? 3 or 4 years ago, I should be only like 18, 19? Maybe I am too career-minded. If I don't have certain targets in my life... I might not even want to have kids. Ok, maybe I don't like kids but then your career has not reached to a certain stage.. would you be able to support your kid? For me, I wouldn't want my child to be worried about such matters and definately I woundn't want them to suffer and be derived of certain priviledges. I want him / her to enjoy their lives. Hmmmm.... *ponders*

Things are still left dangling there. Left unsolved. Still hesitating about my decisions for certain things. Sometimes I really wish I am dead. No need to think and be meddling with situations I just don't like.

Gonna change the layout soon.